Time EV
by inolvidable23
Summary: She thought they had forever, but life had other plans...


**AN:** This hurt...a lot...

 **Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine. The characters are owned by CW and The 100 creators.

Sorry for the mistakes! Enjoy!

* * *

The first time Niylah meet Lexa, the Commander of the Trikru and the Heda of the twelve clans was two days after Clarke dissapeared, just when the young woman was making an inventary of the many thing she had in her shop.

She heard the door opening and looked around till she saw the Commander's green eyes looking at her. Niylah never met the Commander before but now that she did, she understood why everybody feared her.

And she never felt scared. She never did with Clarke, a stranger looking for a place to be human again or with Roan, a beast looking for a prize but Heda...she had a level of intimidation that scared Niylah.

"So...it's you..." muttered Lexa.

Niylah didn't want to ask what she was talking about. She heard enough stories of Heda and rumors about her choice regarding the mountain men and the sky people and even if Niylah understood her choices, she despise them more now that she met Clarke.

"Heda..." said Niylah.

"Clarke has good taste..." said Lexa.

Niylah nearly felt her insides tremble at the voice of the Commander. There was some jealousy that Niylah feared that were her death if Clarke was really Heda's and Niylah touched her.

Even if she didn't regret it.

"Thanks, Heda..." said Niylah.

"And she knows were to hid." said Lexa. "You never tell Roan about her."

Niylah looked away and Heda studied her adverting her eyes and making Niylah realized the way she was talking about Roan. As if she knew him.

"You sent him, Heda?" asked Niylah trying to hid her fear.

"Yes. I needed Clarke." said Heda.

Niylah frowned and growled but Lexa simply ignored her as she walked around her shop, looking at her things as if she was another costumer and making Niylah tremble in fury because she considered Lexa the source of Clarke's pain.

Clarke...she didn't know if Clarke was still alive.

"Roan found her?" asked Niylah.

"Yes."

The answer made Niylah look at Heda in fear but Lexa just looked at her before she turned to look at her things again making the young woman felt that Clarke wasn't death yet. Then, she saw Heda took some bear furs and some metalic materials with a bunch of guns that were old but still worked.

"I will take this." said Lexa before she looked at Niylah. "...and Clarke is fine, with her people."

"Heda..."

"You have a horse behind the shop. I think it will be ok to cover all this." said Lexa.

Without saying anything else, Lexa left making Niylah stood there frozen for a couple of minutes before she ran to the back of the shop, knowing that she couldn't blame Heda even if she stole something from her.

But when she got in the back of the shop, she found something she never dream of, it was something that made sure that Heda didn't stole anything from her.

It wasn't a simple horse. It was a pure blood horse and it had a letter attached to his strong brown neck.

 _Thanks for taking care of her._

That's the moment Niylah realized that maybe the Commander wasn't like she tought she was.

–

The second time Niylah saw Lexa, she was surprised to find Heda much more relaxed even if she still seemed worried.

"Niylah..."

"Heda...here again?" asked Niylah.

"You have good things and I need them." said Lexa.

Niyah looked at her while she let Lexa walk through the tent getting more furs, more weapons and more things that belonged to the sky people.

That's when Niylah learn where all her things were going.

"You give it to them, right?" "To the sky people?" asked Niyah.

Lexa looked at her as if she was shy because she was discovered but she calm herself and smiled taking more things while Niyah looked at her with curiosity.

"They should hate you.." said Niylah knowing about the legend of the mountain.

"They do but that doesn't stop me from doing this." said Lexa.

"Clarke hates you too?"

"Clarke hates me the most."

Niylah understood her and nearly wanted to hug the Commander when she saw Lexa's sad eyes because Clarke hated her. Something that surely hurt Lexa more than anything giving her defeated tone.

"I think this is enough." said Lexa getting a necklace out of her pocket.

"No, Heda. The horse you gave me will cover everything you need to take from now on..." said Niylah.

"Is not like that, Niylah, take this." said Lexa. "It's a gift from a close friend of the boat people."

"I can't take it." insisted Niyah.

"You're as stubborn as Clarke." growled Lexa.

Niylah frowned but Lexa let the necklace on the table and started to leave before the girl grabbed her Heda by the arm.

It was a mistake but Niylah needed to tell Lexa what she was thinking, more after she saw the look on Lexa's face.

"I think she will forgive you. She only needs to forgive herself first." said Niyla.

"That's exactly what I fear." muttered Lexa.

And then Lexa left leaving Niylah with the feeling that she was seeing a Heda than nobody knew about.

–

The third time Lexa went to see her...she didn't came alone. A little boy was with her and he seemed to be full of energy and ready to fight in this crazy world.

"Heda..."

"Niylah...I brought someone special today to look for something you could may have." said Lexa.

"A sword!" "I want a sword!" said the kid.

"Aden, calm down...that is no way to talk to a woman." said Lexa.

The boy, named Aden, calmed down instantly and walked to Niylah before he bowed in front of her and excused himself.

"I'm sorry." said the boy.

"It's fine. I have worst costumers than you." said Niylah. "But none of them were this hadsome."

Aden blushed and Niylah could see a smile in Lexa's face for a second before she turned the stoic Commander again to look at her.

"He needs a weapon to train because we broke his arrow the last time." said Lexa.

"Trainning? Isn't he too young to train?"

"I'm trainning him for the moment that my spirit chose a new Commander." said Lexa.

She said it as if it was the most simple thing in the world but Niylah couldn't imagine Aden being making the same choices Lexa had to make in her life.

In fact, she couldn't imagine anyone having to make the same choices Lexa made.

"You don't have much hope in live more, right Heda?" asked Niylah making Lexa agree with her. "Things are that bad out there?"

"Worse but I have the feeling I still have time to finish my boundaries, besides, I lived more than others."

She was right on that.

"But is not your business, Niylah, what about the sword?" asked Lexa.

"I think I have what you're looking for." said Niylah.

She got a brilliant sword out and gave it to Aden while the kid smiled before Lexa let him got to practise with it with a proud look in her eyes.

-Really, Lexa, can I practise with it?" asked Aden.

"Maybe you have to ask the lady?" asked Lexa looking at Niylah.

"Go on, kid." said Niylah.

Aden ran with the sword and Lexa lauged watching him making Niylah smile too before she saw her Heda closing her eyes as if she was tired.

For a moment, it was like Heda was losing all her will.

"Everything's fine?" asked Niylah.

"No." said Lexa. "I put them in the coalition but that idiot...Bellamy, he destroyed all my work and now they're in danger again."

Bellamy? Niylah thought that maybe it was someone from the sky people and then, she realized why Lexa was too adamant and tired: Clarke.

"Heda, about Clarke..." said Niylah. "I'm sorry...If I knew she was yours..."

"Clarke...she's not mine or anybody's, Niylah." said Lexa. "She's free and I'm nothing to her so I can't do anything about what she wants or needs even if I wanted to kill you when I learn about your...moment with her."

"But you didn't?" asked Niylah.

"Clarke wanted to share her body with you...it's her choice." said Lexa. "...and you don't seem a bad person. You protected her from Roan and I have a debt with you for that."

"I didn't do it for that reason." said Niylah.

"It doesn't matter, the truth is the truth." said Lexa.

Niylah crossed her arms when she saw Lexa let out a breath and looked away when she saw emotion in the Commander's eyes, it was...it was like if she was feeling something more for Clarke.

And then, she realized it.

"You're in love with Clarke." said Niylah.

Lexa looked at her and Niylah trembled because she just realized the truth she could see now crearly in Heda's eyes. She loved Clarke and not being beside her was slowly killing the woman inside the Commander.

"I can't deny it." said Lexa.

"But...do she knows it?" asked Niylah. "Heda with all due respect, you look different and Clarke...she won't hate you forever."

"She doesn't hate me...I think..." said Lexa looking away. "...but she will never trust me again and that would make her impossible to let herself feel something for me."

Niylah tried to say something to her. She tried to force Heda to not give up like this because she could feel Lexa's love for Clarke in her eyes and Niylah was sure that something like this is what Clarke needed in her life, someone like Heda. Someone who could understand her and protect her in this life.

Because that was what Niylah wanted, for Clarke to be fine and happy.

"Lexa!"

Aden's voice distracted them when the kid ran to them with the sword and after he told Heda he wanted the sword, Niylah saw Lexa put one of her own swords in the table.

"No, Heda, please..."

"Niylah this is your bussiness and we have to respect that." said Lexa.

"But your last exchanges gave me enough to survive this lifetime, Heda." said Niylah. "I can't..."

"Then I want you to have it as a gift."

Niylah couldn't say anything while Aden looked between them and then walked out te tent. Lexa stood there for a moment, looking at Niylah and then smiling before she walked away.

"Don't...don't let anyone take the watch." said Lexa pointing at something that Clarke left behind when she ran away. "I will come back for it in my next visit."

And then Heda left leaving Niylah there with the feeling they would see each other soon.

–

The fourth time Heda went to see Niylah...the woman never though it would be the last.

Lexa came to take the Clarke's wach and in exchange of it, the Commaner gave her a dagger that was special to her. It was her mentor's dagger.

Niylah didn't want to accept it but Lexa made her take it and when the woman tried to thank her, everything blowed up around them.

"What's wrong?" shouted Niylah.

"You have to go. They're coming for you." said Lexa.

Before she knew what was happening, Heda was fighting some warriors and Niylah didn't know what to do to help her but she wanted to do it, at least, till some warrior grabbed her arm.

"Ryder! Get Niylah out of here!" shouted Lexa.

"Heda..."

"Heda, no! I can fight!" shouted Niylah.

Lexa killed the warriors but they hurt her too. The blood ran down her chest, her arm and her cheek even if Lexa didn't seem to be in pain and focused only on her.

"They come for you because you are related to Clarke, Niylah and..." breathed Lexa. "I won't let her felt guilty of another death."

Then she understood. It was really like a punch when Niylah realized Lexa was going to risk her life to save Clarke only because she didn't wanted Clarke to feel guilty of another person that helped her.

"Ryder! Do what I say now, damnit!" shouted Lexa.

"Heda..."

"Heda, no!" "I can fight!" shouted Niylah again.

Lexa killed some warriors but they hurt her too. The blood ran through her chest, her right arm and her cheek but Lexa didn't seem to feel the pain and looked at her with furious eyes.

"They come for you...because you are close to Clarke, Niylah and..." growled Lexa. "God help me if I let Clarke blame herself for another death."

Then Niylah understood. She finally realized that Lexa was risking her life to save Clarke from blaming herself of another death.

"Ryder! Do it, come on!" shouted Lexa.

Ryder breathed and grabbed Niylah, who tried to free herself to help her Heda. Ryder got her out of the village and the last thing Niylah saw was a brutal war when Trikru soldiers tried to save her village.

And then, she heard the sound of a horse getting aways from Heda while Lexa fell to the ground.

##

Clarke was worried, Lexa was late to their meeting in Camp Jaha and Pike and Bellamy were already angry giving her mocking looks because everything looked like Lexa bretayed her again.

"She's not going to come." said Pike.

"She abandoned you again, Clarke, don't you see it?" asked Bellamy running a hand through his hair.

Clarke breathed and looked at the ground. It was a possibility but a part of her was denying another bretayal after what they lived in Polis...after all they talked and fought together to get here now.

"Heda didn't abandon her." growled Indra.

"She did in the mountain." said Bellamy.

"She saved her people in the mountain." answered Indra looking away.

"In exchange of ours." growled Pike. "This is a waste of time."

He was ready to leave when, suddenly, they heard the sound that alerted them of someone coming to the Ark and Clarke breathed, smiling when Bellamy looked at her angry.

"You were saying?" asked the blonde.

"Is Ryder!" shouted another grounder.

"You were saying?"said Bellamy when Clarke seemed surprised as they heard another name that was not Lexa.

Indra got out before her but Clarke ran after the warrior to see what was happening and her mouth fell to the ground when she saw Ryder inside her camp with the last person she expected to see.

Niylah.

"Niylah?"

"Clarke!" "Clarke you have to help her!" shouted Niylah desperate.

Clarke didn't understand anything but suddenly she saw Indra, getting angry with Ryder who seemed frustrated about something and, in some way, her mind got to the point that they were arguing over Lexa.

In her arms, Niylah trembled when she saw the sky people with her furs. One of them, with a non-friendly face and a injuried leg, had metal bar's around her injury that seemed just like the one that Lexa got from her shop and other person, a brunette warrior, had her weapons.

Clarke opened her eyes with worry when Niylah started to cry in front of her and without knowing why.

"Niylah? What's wrong?" asked Clarke.

"She brought them there...the things she traded with me...she brought them here." sobbed Niylah.

Clarke didn't understood till Kane stepped in front of them worried and with a look that the blond couldn't describe.

"They were from your shop?" asked Kane.

"Yes!" shouted Niylah.

"What are you talking about?" asked Clarke looking between them.

Kane looked at Clarke then and breathed making the blond feel nervous while Niylah fell to the ground, putting her hands in her face and sobbing like she never thought she could sob.

"The Ice Nation warriors attacked her village and Heda stayed behind to fight." said Indra.

Clarke felt her soul left her body and all she could do was look at Niylah who was still crying but looked at her with sadness in her eyes.

"She saved me..." said Niylah. "She didn't...she didn't want for you to blame herself for another death."

The words got Clarke in a way that anything else did and the next thing she realized was that she mounted a horse and the feel of Indra and Octavia beside her.

And the Rover...Raven was in the Rover.

They ran to the village with the hope of not being too late. With the hope of everything being a nightmare or a dream..something that wasn't real.

Because they weren't ready to lose Heda. Clarke wasn't ready to lose Lexa, not yet.

##

Lexa breathed, this was too much for getting out alive.

She got into Niylah's shop and fell to the ground, close to the main table where she grabbed the thing she was looking for and sitting down with the table supporting her back as she touched the object like if it was a treasure.

The gift she was supossed to give Clarke to let her know about her feelings.

Lexa breathed and closed her eyes feeling the life getting out of her while she rested her head against the table. At least she left everything done for the sky people and Aden would do a good job as a future leader.

She could rest now.

Lexa smiled and tried to breath again before she looked Clarke's watch, sad that she wouldn't be able to give it to the blonde.

"I'm sorry, Clarke..." muttered Lexa touching the watch. "I only wanted..."

Her injuries made Lexa growl and the Commander breathed one more time while she closed her eyes, letting her head fall and losing the little strength she had in her hands while the watch mixed with her blood.

Sealing the love that would always be part of her soul till they meet each other again.

##

Clarke got to the village just in time to see the end of the battle. People were hugging and crying over the fallen bodies and Octavia, Indra and Raver were walking to them while she looked for the person she needed to find.

"Lexa!?"

Lexa always came when Clarke called for her, it was something the Commander could never refuse and now, Clarke was furious because it was not the moment for Lexa to start resufing her callings.

"Lexa, not now!" "Lexa!"

Clarke walked through the village till her feet stopped in Niylah's shop and something made her get inside with the feeling she never felt before, something between fury and worry till she saw Lexa's form, with her face down and her body quiet like a stone.

"Lexa...thank god. I thought that..." started Clarke.

Clarke ran to her and knelt in front of the Commander to take her face in her hands and that's when she realized that Lexa's skin was cold and pale.

"Lexa...Lexa, no..." muttered Clarke.

Clarke shook Lexa's shoulders but Lexa didn't respond and Clarke felt the tears running down her face when she put a hand over Lexa's chest trying to feel her heart beating inside her body, but she felt nothing.

"Lexa..." sobbed Clarke. "You, idiot...why did you do that?"

She hugged Lexa and kissed her hair again and again while her body trembled with pain and her face was wet with tears.

"You didn't have to do this, Lexa..." muttered Clarke between kisses. "You musn't...Lexa...Lexa wake up, please..."

What was that feeling that broke inside her? Clarke didn't understand it...it was painful and desperating...

 _Is love..._

Clarke's eyes opened with surprise when she realized the truth her heart was screaming for weeks, the one she couldn't see before. She moved Lexa's body in her arms and looked at her caressing her cheeks with tenderness while she realized what's the reason for her breakdown.

Lexa had her soul and her heart and now...

Clarke breathed and sallowed a sob while she closed her eyes and put her forehead against Lexa's, bumping her nose with Lexa's nose, as if the Commander was made of glass.

"You did this for me, right?" mutered Clarke taing her father's watch before she hugged Lexa close to her chest. "But what I'm going to do now without you?"

No one will teach her lesson about leadership again, no one will fight her again. No one will hear her again or will help her to be better for her people. No one will understand her or lick her wounds when Clarke was unable to support them.

No one will show her the things Lexa teach her.

Clarke put her head in the crock of Lexa's neck and breathed her in one more time before she started to cry again, this time like a wounded animal who lost everything.

When Octavia, Raven and Indra arrived where she was, they just stood there waching the two lovers say goodbye with too much between them to have time to look into it.

Time, they only needed more time.

But nothing would give Lexa time to live again just as nothing would give Clarke time to say Lexa that she saw the girl that kissed her during the mountain war, the same girl that fought for her against Roan. The same girl she kissed before Clarke left for Camp Jaha.

Clarke only needed time to realize her feelings and now it was too late.

"Ai hod you in, Leksa."

The first time she could say it and at the same time, the las time she will say it because Clarke didn't have enough time, anymore.

Because...it was too late.


End file.
